Most people find shopping for clothes quite exciting and relaxing; picking out different styles and outfits. For me, however, it’s stressful AF, and most of the time very disheartening. I am someone that suffers with extremely low confidence in a lot of ways, but my confidence about my body and clothing is probably my lowest area. I’m that person that tells their friend they look amazing (unless they don’t, gotta keep it truthful), and deep down feeling jealous that they look so good. I’d never be malicious with that jealousy, but just wishing that I could feel and look that good in something.
Everyone has their style and aesthetic when it comes to clothing, but I find myself still trying to find it. I keep putting immense amount of pressure on myself to find my kind of style. At 22 years of age, most people have this figured out, or getting close to it. This is one of the reasons I never take outfit shots, because it’s mostly just jeans and a t-shirt. I’d experiment a lot more if I felt better about myself, but I dismiss too many options before even trying them at the moment. It’s very rare I purposefully go clothes shopping due to this, and instead do some makeup shopping.
Saying this, I recently found a slight bit of confidence. I’d lost almost a stone in a month and a half, and my clothes started to feel looser. With this newfound confidence, I decided to treat myself to some bits from Missguided and Pretty Little Thing. This was quite a bit deal to me as these are clothing sites I’d always felt quite intimidated by as I always felt like they’re more catered to smaller dress sizes. However, I took the plunge and it’s paid off so well! I’m no longer afraid to shop on these sites, I know what the sizes are like and the clothes are great!
This new-found confidence and happiness did not last long, though. If you follow my Twitter, you’ll know I had a situation ages ago with a co-ord where it wasn’t cohesive as it went up in sizes. I therefore returned the co-ord and bought a dress in a size up from what I bought the co-ord. You know, because logics tells you that if a size ** doesn’t fit, then the size up with most likely be fine. But logic works in mysterious ways as this was not the case – the dress was too big. So, because I’d lost almost a stone, and because of the dress situation, I decided to buy some bits in the super mega sale boohoo recently had on. I went in, and bought nine pieces – all in the same size may I add…
When the clothes arrived, I was so excited and decided to try all of them on straight away. Again, this is something I never do. I usually put off because I instantly feel like it’s not going to fit or look nice, but I was so excited for this one. Out of the nine pieces, this is results after trying everything on: 1 item was too big, 3 items actually fit, and the rest were too small. When I say too small, I mean that they arrived not as advertised, or I simply could not get them on. This seemed absolutely ridiculous to me – all of the pieces were the same size! I know it happens sometimes where sizes vary with different retailers, but they were all from boohoo! How can the same retailer have such a various range of measurements for the same clothing size!?
I’m not going to lie, it did knock me back so much once again. I was sat thinking ‘what’s the point in me losing all this weight if it’s not going to make a difference anyway?’. Every time I try to make myself feel nice and switch things up a little bit, it backfires and this sort of shit happens. Why did I even think that clothes shopping would be a good idea in the first place? Wait, why am I letting numbers make me want to curl up into a ball and cry?!
It shouldn’t be normal for someone to feel like this every time they clothes shop. I’ve decided to take it on the chin, because it’s just not worth getting worked up over it all. It’s frustrating that the clothes were all different sizes, despite all actually being the same size. But, it is what it is now. I don’t need to let the numbers and logistics of it ruin my confidence all over again. The numbers do not define me, and I don’t need to pay attention to them. No one needs to pay attention to them.
I’ve come to the conclusion that clothing sizes are redundant – they don’t fucking matter. This isn’t me saying I’m going to be buying size 8s and hope for the best – because that’s simply ridiculous. What I’m saying is, I am no longer going to get uptight about the sizes I’m buying and wearing. There is zero point in me faffing about, giving a shit about sizes when it can vary so much anyway. It’s all a myth!
What are your thoughts on the boohoo situation? Is it bullshit, or am I being dramatic?